Intro Series Part Three: SSITD
by Kenny's Goddess
Summary: Okay, since my title unabbreviated is too LONG to fit...the SSITD stands for Something Sprouting in the Dark. ^_^ In this tale...something...happens in the dark with Lily...and someone else! Woah! =P


Something Sprouting in the Dark  
  
Mr. Garrison plopped the indifferent, fat, racist Eric Cartman into one chair, and the smart, clever, and sharp witted Lily Marsh into one beside him.  
  
"Now," he said. "You are going to have something very big to do for me, oh yes," he said. He pointed his finger towards Lily.  
  
"Now, you little temptress, you almost had me fooled. We had recess for three hours until I realized that you had played a trick on me!"  
  
"Took you long enough to figure it out," she muttered sullenly. "A teacher with brains would have never let me pull a stunt like that." Mr. Hat slapped her across the face.   
Mr. Garrison's face was a mask of shock.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry Lily, Mr. Hat is a child abuser," he said. Lily rubbed her face.  
  
"Ow," she said. "That hurt, you asshole! Bullshit it was Mr. Hat! You are Mr. Hat!" Mr. Hat hit her again.  
  
"Shut up you little wench," Mr. Hat said, hitting her again. "You need to show some respect, that's-"  
  
"No," said Cartman. "You need to RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!" He leapt out of his chair and ran for Mr. Garrison, planning to kick him in the nuts. Mr. Garrison planned that though, and kicked Cartman over. He picked him up and slapped him back in the chair.  
  
"Now," he said. "You two have a project due for me...tomorrow," he said. "And if you don't do it, then you are going to fail and be stuck in third grade for the rest of your lives! The project is on the civil rights union bill that was just passed in Vermont about two men or two women getting married. I want a ten-minute oral report on it-"  
  
"I think I know why you picked something about gay people to be our topic," Lily said. Cartman laughed.  
  
"Yeah, we always knew that you were a flaming homo hippie asshole," he added. Mr. Hat took the two kids and threw them across the room. Lily hit the door and fell to the ground and Cartman landed on top of her.  
  
"Not another word out of you!" Mr. Hat screamed. Mr. Garrison looked shocked.  
  
"Oh, children, I'm sorry," he said. "Mr. Hat really gets carried away with things." Cartman got up and then looked down at Lily.  
  
"Dude, I think she's dead," he said. Lily got up and rubbed her head right then.  
  
"Ow..." she said. "Watch where you're landing, Cartman!"  
  
"It wasn't my fault! It was that gay ass fucking homo teacher we have with his felt puppet!" Cartman said. Mr. Garrison kept Mr. Hat under control.  
  
"Now, I suggest that one of you go to the other's house and spend the night," he said. "This is going to take awhile. Now, both of you go home and get a start on it." Cartman and Lily walked sullenly out of the small backroom and back into the class.  
  
"Hey," Stan whispered to Lily. "Where are you going?"  
  
"Home," she said. "I have to do some gay report with Cartman for tomorrow or else I'll never pass the third grade." She sighed and gave him a small smile. "See you later, Stan," she said as they walked out. They walked down the road, not really saying anything. Suddenly, Cartman looked up at her.  
  
"Lily, come to my house tonight," he said. "You've never been there, and you can meet my mom and have some of her cooking. It's hella tits," he said.  
  
Probably how you got so fat, eh Cartman? Lily thought to herself. She gave Cartman a sunny smile.  
  
"Sure," she said. "I just have to run home and get some clothes...actually, I think I'll just go with you. Let Stan explain the situation to our mom."  
  
"Sounds like a plan to me," Cartman said. The Lily slapped her forehead.  
  
"No, I have to go home for my stuff!" she said. "Come on, come with me, Hopefully, no one will be home."  
  
She was right; no one was home at her house. She told Cartman to stay where he was and ran up into the room that she shared with Stan. Her stuff was strewn out everywhere but she pulled out her bag and crammed some clothes in it. Then she climbed up the ladder into the top bunk and pulled something out from under her covers. She hugged it to herself and the slapped it in the bag. She zipped it up and ran downstairs where Cartman was waiting.  
  
"I just have to leave my family a note," she said, grabbing a pen and paper from the counter. She scribbled something and then tossed it back on the counter along with the pen and paper.  
  
"Come on, let's go," Lily said.  
  
It was a short walk to Cartman's house from hers, only about a minute or so. They walked into the house and Lily looked around, taking in the surroundings. It was a pleasant enough house, and the most wonderful smell was coming from the kitchen. Lily threw her bag on the couch and Cartman led her into the kitchen, where his mom was making brownies.   
  
"Hello hon," she said. "Isn't early for you to be out of school?"  
  
"Lily and I got kicked out of class and now we have to do some gay project   
about...gay people," he replied.  
  
"Oh, that's nice hon," she said. "Who's your friend?"  
  
"I'm Lily," Lily said. "I think you know my brother Stan." She nodded.  
  
"Wonderful kid," she said. "Here, have a brownie!" She handed her a brownie and Lily ate it with a relish.  
  
"Hey," she said to Cartman. "Your mom is a good cook!" Cartman smiled.  
  
"I know," he said. "That's why I eat all of my dinner and all of my lunch, and all of my breakfast, and all of my snacks, and all-"  
  
"I get the point," she said. She felt something rub against her legs. She looked down and Kitty was there, weaving in and out between her legs.  
  
"Aw, look!" Lily said, picking the cat up. "How cute! A cat! What's her name?"  
  
"Kitty," Cartman said, grabbing the ladle. He whacked Kitty over the head with it. "That's a bad goddamn kitty, get out of Lily's arms!" Kitty tore off, hissing and yowling.  
  
"Cartman," Lily said. "That wasn't a very nice thing to do to your cat." He shrugged.  
  
"That wasn't a very nice thing Kitty did to you," he replied. He grabbed a box of Snacky Smores and put them on a plate and brought them up to his room. Lily ran out into the living room and grabbed her bag, and then followed him. He was sitting at his desk with the Snacky Smores in front of him. Lily pulled up another chair and sat next to him. She pulled out some books that she had managed to get from Mr. Garrison's bookshelf that looked like they might help them. 'Being Gay in Society', 'What is it like to be a Homosexual Today?' and 'Fuck Me (in the ass)' She opened one of them to somewhere in the middle.  
  
"All right," she said. "We have to get working on this, Cartman. Cartman?" She looked over towards him and he was playing with a doll in a pink dress.  
  
"Why, hello, Polly Prissy Pants," Cartman said amiably. "I hear that you do not have a date to the annual-"  
  
"Cartman!" Lily cried. "We have to do this! You can't just sit there and play dolls all day!"  
  
"Ignore her, Polly Prissy Pants," Cartman said. "She is just trying to win me over for herself so that she can take me to the ball instead!" Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
"Don't be an idiot, Cartman," she said. "I'm not trying to do anything with you! I just want us to get this report done and over with!"   
  
"Never!" Cartman retorted. "I am not doing a report about gay people! As we were saying, Polly Prissy Pants-"  
  
"Ahhh!" Lily said, throwing her hands into the air in frustration. She leaned down and grabbed her bag and started walking towards the door. "Screw you guys, I'm going home!" Cartman stared at her, shocked.  
  
"Ay! I say that! You're not allowed to say that!" Lily gave him a little smile.  
  
"Really?" she said. "I thought I had made that up." Cartman shook his head and then saw something on the floor. Lily's bag was hanging open and something had fallen out of it. It was her-  
  
"Clyde Frog!" Cartman cried. He stared at Lily. "You have a Clyde Frog?" Lily turned as red as a beet and snatched it off the ground.  
  
"Ah, well," she stammered. "It's not really-"  
  
"I have one too! Cool!" Cartman said. Lily was totally taken aback.  
  
"You...you have a Clyde Frog?" she said. She walked back over to the table and sat back down. Cartman ran over to his bed and pulled his Clyde Frog out from under the covers.  
  
"Yeah, see?" he said, holding him up. Lily grabbed a Snacky Smore and ate it, staring at Cartman.  
  
"I keep my Clyde Frog in the exact same place," she said softly. "Wow. I never knew anyone else who I had so much in common with." Cartman shrugged.  
  
"Me either," he said, and their eyes met briefly. Lily quickly lowered hers and pulled out the book again.  
  
"All right, Cartman, we really have to-" She had reached her hand over for a Snacky Smore and felt something covering it. Apparently Cartman had thought the same thing and his hand was on top of hers. Lily quickly drew her hand away, embarrassed.  
  
"Sorry," she said. "Go ahead." Cartman grabbed one and put it in his mouth, and then grabbed one and gave it to her.  
  
"Here," he said. She took it and smiled.  
  
"Thanks," she said.  
  
  
~*~  
  
It was three in the morning before they were done with their report. Cartman fell back on his bed, exhausted. Lily could barely keep her eyes open and she wrote down the last sentence.  
  
"There," she said. "We're done." She looked up at Cartman. "Where am I going to sleep?" She grabbed her Clyde Frog and stood there in front of him, clad in her blue flannel pajamas.   
  
"Well..." Cartman said. "My bed's a king size, if you don't mind sharing. Or, you could sleep on the couch." Lily shook her head.  
  
"I'm too tired to go downstairs," she said. "Move over." Cartman moved all the way over to one side of his bed and Lily crawled into the other.  
  
"Wow, your bed's comfy, Cartman," she said, leaning her head back into the pillow. "It feels wonderful." She snuggled deep into the mattress and then looked over at him.  
  
"Cartman?" she blurted. "What do the others think of you at school?" Cartman was slightly shocked at her question.  
  
"What do they think of me?" he asked. "They think I am a fat, racist piece of shit with no emotions whatsoever who lives to piss people off. Stan and Kyle are only my friends because they need a fat kid to pick on and Kenny's my only friend who I think actually needs me as a friend back." He sighed miserably. "We're in the same boat, Kenny and I. People hate Kenny because he's poor, and people hate me because I'm fat." He stared at her, scared. "What do you think of me?"  
  
Lily was caught totally off guard by the question. She tried to make herself speak and for a minute she couldn't.  
  
  
"Well..." she stammered. "I...you see..."  
  
"Just say it Lily, it's not going to hurt my feelings anymore," Cartman said bitterly. Lily groped around in the dark for his hand and found it.  
  
"Ay, what are you-"  
  
"It's not that, Cartman," Lily said. "I'm just trying to think of a way I can..." She stopped suddenly, still holding his hand.  
  
"Turn on the light," she said. "I want to be able to see your face when I tell you this." Cartman obliged and the room was flooded with light. She blinked her eyes hard for a few seconds until they had adjusted to the brightness again and then looked at Cartman. He stared back at her, bemused.  
  
"What are you doing, Lily?" he asked but was silenced when she kissed him. She held her lips there for a second and then pulled back. She saw the stunned happiness in his eyes. She held a finger to his mouth.  
  
"Don't say anything," she said. "Cartman, I don't think you're racist, or mean, or any   
of those things the others think about you. I think you're funny, and the best friend anyone could have, and I like you and there's nothing that anyone can say that's going to change that!" She took her finger away and just stared at him.  
  
"You...eh..." Cartman couldn't seem to find his voice. He shook his head and pinched himself and slapped his face.  
  
"I can't believe this," he said finally. "The most beautiful girl I have ever seen in sitting here in front of me, in my bed, sleeping over at my house, and she is telling me that out of all the cute, nice looking guys there are in our class that she likes me." He pinched himself harder. "This has to be a dream, one weird, fucked up dream..."  
  
"No dream, Cartman," Lily said softly. "I do like you. I mean it, really." Cartman's face slowly lit up in a happy smile.  
  
"You mean that?" he cried. "You like me, Eric Cartman?" Lily smiled a little bit.  
  
"There's no other Eric Cartman's I know, right?" she said. Cartman shook his head.  
  
"Oh my god," he whispered. "This is so fucking awesome!" He leaned over and hugged her.  
  
  
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," he said. "God, I like you too!" She glanced down at her watch. It was three fifteen.  
  
"It's late," Lily said. "We should go to sleep." Cartman nodded.  
  
"All right," he said. "Good night, Lily." Lily smiled and brushed her lips against his forehead.  
  
"Night, Cartman," she said. They fell asleep right next to each other, looking for all the world like a loving couple oblivious to the pain of the world.  
  



End file.
